Thank you so much! This "boundary coach" video popped up on my FB feed. I was appalled, but didn't know how to respond; she is indeed pretty manipulative. Thanks for supplying the much needed analysis and language.
That is disgusting. Plus it is exactly like someone calling herself a doctor, or a healer, setting out to further harm people, instead of healing them. She is literally doing the polar OPPOSITE of what her career description calls for, and that, (at least in my view), makes it EXTRA shameful and despicable. More like a “telling women that they are NOT allowed to have boundaries” coach, which is maybe what she should call herself instead.
Plus something I think is lacking from the discussion: how she just tells women that THIS is how we should react if someone is policed for being in the wrong bathroom, without first uncovering a very important point, and distinguishing between two different possible cases. Which is: is this person, who is being told to leave the bathroom, actually a man or woman? Because both of these CAN happen. (I have also heard of a few cases in which very tomboyish looking women, who were MISTAKENLY assumed to be men, were told to leave the women’s bathroom by someone.) And the thing is, these two possible cases call for completely different responses!! In a case where it was, in fact, really a woman..? I still don’t think how she responded would have been appropriate. Because even if the woman who assumed her to be a man turned out to be WRONG..? She still should not be shamed and attacked, and told she is “weird”, for having boundaries! Instead, one should try to clear up the situation! Had it been me, observing that happening, and seeing that the person she tried to expel from the bathroom was in fact a woman? I might have said: “but, I think this person is actually a woman! Aren’t you?” (Asking the person in question.) Then she could have responded, and her female voice, in that case, would have been another clue. And the misunderstanding could have been cleared up.
Whereas if it really was a man? Then the correct response, absolutely, would be to demand for him to get the HELL out of there!! And I personally also think it is really manipulative, albeit a decision that was likely made on PURPOSE, to just give women a sort of blanket response, for: “THIS is how you should act, and what you should say, if you see some fellow woman trying to get someone to leave the female bathroom!” Because, hello..? What the appropriate response / action would be? ENTIRELY depends on whether that person is also a woman, or if it is, in fact, a MAN! But of course she would not even bring that up, and would instead DELIBERATELY muddy the waters. Because she also wants us to think that anyone who enters the female bathroom, regardless of their sex, would be “identifying” as a woman, and should therefore automatically have the right to be there. Which just further illustrates how INSANE TRAs are!!! Plus also, that she is, no doubt, a TRA herself. Absolutely no one should be getting “boundary training” with this lady, whatsoever! What a joke! I’d rather ask a vet, instead of a meteorologist, for some random weather forecast, thanks. 😏
I’m so f-in weary that one of these days I’ll be confronted by a tra-dude in a woman’s facility, the idea of it horrifies me. I hate public bathrooms, I walked out of a 2 stall bathroom because I just couldn’t go with someone else next to me, it was so quiet and to close and was just to much. There are women like me out here in the world who have sa/rape trauma that are deeply uncomfortable in public bathrooms/locker rooms, I hate being naked. Women like me who feel abandoned by a society that tells women what this one is saying in this video. That we don’t matter, that our private spaces are up for grabs and that we should just shut up and go along with the insanity. No, I won’t, I don’t, I refuse. I’m a woman a real woman born in the flesh woman not some concept or outfit or any of that other crap and society telling me men are women and that women are men and all the tra bs is just that, BS!
Absolutely!! All of the support to you, wishing you all the best with your continued healing, and fuck these dudes!!! You matter, and all women with a trauma history matter!! Far more than these entitled pricks. It makes me so sad that so many women will readily sell you out, and side with them instead of you. 😞 Although speaking as a former true believer in this bullshit, who was full-on indoctrinated in my teens, I think many of the young and naive female TRAs may just not have thought about women like you, and your needs. I know I hadn't!! Because the "queer" people I hung out with at the time never talked about it, I did not know any TERFs, (plus I was told they were all horrible, so I should just avoid them), and all the normies in my life said nothing, lest it might upset me. Which is likely not a completely unique situation... I really hope at least SOME young female TRAs are willing to listen to you, and empathize, and truly consider what you have to say!!! But.. funny how so many of them literally have NO empathy for their fellow women, too. In spite of thinking they are so superior, more enlightened, and more empathetic than us. Just because they are willing to sell us out to these men, and instead sympathize with THEM. Hmmmm... It is really not the flex they think it it, but I don't think they even realize all the empathy that they LACK.
I hate that type..Sellout. Those women sell other women down the river for the sake of the male and to be seen as superior to oyher women, NOT in solidarity with us!!!
What a nasty little useful idiot of a handmaiden she is. Shame on her.
Thank you so much! This "boundary coach" video popped up on my FB feed. I was appalled, but didn't know how to respond; she is indeed pretty manipulative. Thanks for supplying the much needed analysis and language.
That is disgusting. Plus it is exactly like someone calling herself a doctor, or a healer, setting out to further harm people, instead of healing them. She is literally doing the polar OPPOSITE of what her career description calls for, and that, (at least in my view), makes it EXTRA shameful and despicable. More like a “telling women that they are NOT allowed to have boundaries” coach, which is maybe what she should call herself instead.
Plus something I think is lacking from the discussion: how she just tells women that THIS is how we should react if someone is policed for being in the wrong bathroom, without first uncovering a very important point, and distinguishing between two different possible cases. Which is: is this person, who is being told to leave the bathroom, actually a man or woman? Because both of these CAN happen. (I have also heard of a few cases in which very tomboyish looking women, who were MISTAKENLY assumed to be men, were told to leave the women’s bathroom by someone.) And the thing is, these two possible cases call for completely different responses!! In a case where it was, in fact, really a woman..? I still don’t think how she responded would have been appropriate. Because even if the woman who assumed her to be a man turned out to be WRONG..? She still should not be shamed and attacked, and told she is “weird”, for having boundaries! Instead, one should try to clear up the situation! Had it been me, observing that happening, and seeing that the person she tried to expel from the bathroom was in fact a woman? I might have said: “but, I think this person is actually a woman! Aren’t you?” (Asking the person in question.) Then she could have responded, and her female voice, in that case, would have been another clue. And the misunderstanding could have been cleared up.
Whereas if it really was a man? Then the correct response, absolutely, would be to demand for him to get the HELL out of there!! And I personally also think it is really manipulative, albeit a decision that was likely made on PURPOSE, to just give women a sort of blanket response, for: “THIS is how you should act, and what you should say, if you see some fellow woman trying to get someone to leave the female bathroom!” Because, hello..? What the appropriate response / action would be? ENTIRELY depends on whether that person is also a woman, or if it is, in fact, a MAN! But of course she would not even bring that up, and would instead DELIBERATELY muddy the waters. Because she also wants us to think that anyone who enters the female bathroom, regardless of their sex, would be “identifying” as a woman, and should therefore automatically have the right to be there. Which just further illustrates how INSANE TRAs are!!! Plus also, that she is, no doubt, a TRA herself. Absolutely no one should be getting “boundary training” with this lady, whatsoever! What a joke! I’d rather ask a vet, instead of a meteorologist, for some random weather forecast, thanks. 😏
I’m so f-in weary that one of these days I’ll be confronted by a tra-dude in a woman’s facility, the idea of it horrifies me. I hate public bathrooms, I walked out of a 2 stall bathroom because I just couldn’t go with someone else next to me, it was so quiet and to close and was just to much. There are women like me out here in the world who have sa/rape trauma that are deeply uncomfortable in public bathrooms/locker rooms, I hate being naked. Women like me who feel abandoned by a society that tells women what this one is saying in this video. That we don’t matter, that our private spaces are up for grabs and that we should just shut up and go along with the insanity. No, I won’t, I don’t, I refuse. I’m a woman a real woman born in the flesh woman not some concept or outfit or any of that other crap and society telling me men are women and that women are men and all the tra bs is just that, BS!
Absolutely!! All of the support to you, wishing you all the best with your continued healing, and fuck these dudes!!! You matter, and all women with a trauma history matter!! Far more than these entitled pricks. It makes me so sad that so many women will readily sell you out, and side with them instead of you. 😞 Although speaking as a former true believer in this bullshit, who was full-on indoctrinated in my teens, I think many of the young and naive female TRAs may just not have thought about women like you, and your needs. I know I hadn't!! Because the "queer" people I hung out with at the time never talked about it, I did not know any TERFs, (plus I was told they were all horrible, so I should just avoid them), and all the normies in my life said nothing, lest it might upset me. Which is likely not a completely unique situation... I really hope at least SOME young female TRAs are willing to listen to you, and empathize, and truly consider what you have to say!!! But.. funny how so many of them literally have NO empathy for their fellow women, too. In spite of thinking they are so superior, more enlightened, and more empathetic than us. Just because they are willing to sell us out to these men, and instead sympathize with THEM. Hmmmm... It is really not the flex they think it it, but I don't think they even realize all the empathy that they LACK.
This is incredibly irresponsible behavior. Get this woman some feminism, stat!
I hate that type..Sellout. Those women sell other women down the river for the sake of the male and to be seen as superior to oyher women, NOT in solidarity with us!!!