This mom has done a number of troubling things in this short exchange:
This mom introduced a self-judging question to her son about his body. She gives him a leading question that introduces shame, “How do you feel about having a penis?” This question is already dissociative, it implies that his penis is something other than himself- it is something he “has” rather than something that IS part of him. He follows her lead when he says he feels negative, “grumpy.” And she affirms this negative judgment by repeating it, “grumpy.”
This mother introduced dissociation and self-objectification. Rather than staying with the sensation and asking her son about how his body feels, she asks him what he thinks about his body from an objectified position. This removes him from an embodied position of feeling his bodily sensations and asks him a question about what he thinks about his body. If she asked him this about his nose while implying he needs a nose job, the current culture might be able to better see the judgment and objectification inherent in the question.
This mother ultimately introduced a shaming question to her son. Kids pick up on the judgements of their parents. Kids who feel shame about their bodies are less likely to be able to speak from embodied authority about their boundaries. Kids who are ashamed of their bodies are more vulnerable to predators and less likely to report abuse when it happens.
